We are entering the busy months before summer. The internship is quickly coming to a close with about a month left. I had turned in my letter of intent, March 7, to come on full time. B.J. and I discussed it a couple weeks ago, spent a week in prayer, and came to the agreement this is not where God has called me. I struggled with this for awhile, but God has brought me peace.
It is a magnificent thing to be able to look back and see the work God has been doing in lives. In June there was a family where the mom wouldn’t even get the kids when I stopped by. She made her displeasure evident when I would visit each week. Slowly I began to drag my feet about stopping by. I would fight feelings of discouragement and just keep pushing forward. One time the father figure opened the door and got the kids for me. When the mom knew it was me she was right there hovering, showing me with body language that she couldn’t wait for me to leave. Another day later in the summer they were outside on the porch, the kids and gangbangers playing in the water from the fire hydrant. I was shocked when she invited me to eat some pizza. I was able to spend quite a bit of time hanging out. The Lord used that to reveal I was gaining respect. I hadn’t been to visit in a while recently due to health and other things. I ran into the mom and she said they hadn’t seen me in awhile. I explained why, and said I would pay a visit that weekend. I went the following cold Friday night. They warmly invited me in. I visited for about 45 min. with the kids. The mom drove me back to ICI afterward. It was a big step for her to take me back to ICI. This relationship has been slow in growing but it is evidence of the Lord at work and perseverance.
About 2 months ago I was able to have 5 girls sleep over at the apartment. We enjoyed first going to see The Lorax . It was the best watching it with them and being able to laugh more over their pure laughter at certain points. Then we went grocery shopping for dinner and breakfast. Next we went and picked up Katye, one of our volunteers who helped, from Moody, went to the house, and made dinner. Tori (a former summer staffer) arrived, painted fingernails while making up stories, and then we called it a night. Lastly, we got up in the morning and we all went to church. It was a FANTASTIC evening.
The saga of my health continues. Overall, a completely healthy young person, but I’ve struggled with this pain on my right side popping up. So far it has only happened twice. Once in February, when I went to the hospital, then they believed it was my appendix. Another one 5 weeks later lasting for 3 days, just like the last time, I rode it out. The surgeon wants me to have my appendix removed, with the attitude, that even if it isn’t the problem I won’t have to worry about it. He said we can move on to other possibilities once it is out and occurs again. I spoke with another doctor who recommended that I get a second opinion. The second opinion is: It is something due to my cycle. There isn’t anything that they can do for it, but monitor it. I’m still seeking wisdom from the Lord. He knows my body and exactly what is going on. I love the fact that I can rest assured because it is in the Lord’s hands.
When I taught the kids’ Bible lesson, in March, it went well. I didn’t feel prepared. Each time I tried to change it to fit the understanding of the group I was speaking to. The main focus was that it is okay for God to get angry, and that He is merciful and slow to anger. We looked at how we each get angry, what we do when we get angry, normally the response is sinful, and how God does not sin when he gets angry. We discussed how when we sin we are sinning against God and we should think about that when we respond in anger. When you hit that person you are not sinning against them BUT God. Then we looked at God pouring out His wrath in Nahum, Habakkuk, and Zephaniah. I only pray that it got through and they apply it.
I have been tutoring a couple of kids. It has helped build a wonderful relationship with one kid’s mom. The primary thing I’ve been tutoring is reading comprehension. This is a major strong suit for me. I love reading children’s books so I cherish the opportunity of finding resources and creating material to use.
The week of Easter was spring break for the kids so we did a Spring Break Day Camp. It meant working Monday-Friday. Monday is normally our day off, and Wednesday and Thursday became extra long when regular club was still part of the schedule. Then on Saturday we had a roller skating outing. All of these were fun, then Thursday night, in the middle of it all, I was exhausted, feeling overwhelmed and dealing with bitterness. Once I was back at the apartment I couldn’t cover it with business as usual and cried on the phone to my mother. I was defeated nothing was going the way “I” wanted it too. Doors were being closed left and right. That is when a sense of panic began to set in because I was feeling boxed in. The panic can create two responses (figuratively, in my head). The first one: Running around like crazy, frantically trying every door refusing to accept the fact that they are closed. Second response: Overwhelmed by the panic and begin the process of shutting down sitting down huddled in a survival position. I wanted to hold onto my plans, instead of letting them go. Trusting the Lord’s plans are SOO much better than my own, and that He does have a plan for me and it will be revealed in His time. There is no reason for me to panic. I’m not trusting God. That night was a time of re-submitting my whole self to God, trusting that HIS PLANS ARE better than my own. The next morning, Good Friday, I received a text around 6am informing me that the ICI office had been broken into. I knew that my computer was gone. It was a HUGE blessing to have worked through yielding to God the night before. In many ways it was a test from God; Him asking me, “Are you really going to submit everything to me? I give and take away. Do you trust me or are you going to hold on, fret, and worry?” I was able to humbly say, “Yes Lord, I trust you and give this to you.”
Since then Rachel Shoemaker and I had a Cake Decorating Day where 5 kids came and each made their own small cake and were able to decorate it however they wanted. The kids seemed to really enjoy it. I will try to include some pictures in next month’s letter.
Thank you for your faithful prayers. God has been answering them in ways that we may never know! One is that the hospital bill close to $2,000 was covered by the hospital’s charity fund. It was great seeing how God has been providing. Another praise, I am fully supported now! The whole $24,000 has come in. If you give monthly or one-time gifts, Thank YOU! You can choose to stop giving at this point or, if you would like, continue to support ICI by giving to the general fund or designate for my roommate Liz Baker, who is still trying to raise $4,000. Your love and support are greatly appreciated and felt.
With Love,
Rachel
